this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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