that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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