ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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