Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
