How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So apparently I’m into choking now
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