I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
