Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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