tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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