I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
