Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
third nipple confirmed
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
