no, he came in my armpit
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
