Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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