i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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