maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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