dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
