Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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