this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
