I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
