I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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