first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
