whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
