The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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