Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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