Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
