How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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