I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
