Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
