capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
