Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We were destined to go to rehab together
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
