One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
