This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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