absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
