CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
