he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My feet surprised me
false alarm, still single
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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