I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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