I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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