you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
