Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
