I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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