What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
