nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
