Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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