Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
