You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
