I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
