How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
