he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
