The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
