that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize