Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
