How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
now i know why i became what i already was.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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