Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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