We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Houston, we have a blender
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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