let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize