Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
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