Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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