I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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