Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Floor bacon is actually really good
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