It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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