508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
