you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
